Cardinals' Darnell Dockett Has Greatest Twitter Bio Ever

We've never been huge fans of Arizona Cardinals Defensive Tackle Darnell Dockett. Nothing personal, mind you, it's just that we don't live in Arizona and we hate names with alliteration.

However, he will now and forever hold a place in our collective hearts after reading his amazing Twitter bio. (See it below.) He's a modern-day Mark Twain.